Raising The Bar Adelaide

On the 6th of August 2024 I spoke for almost an hour at the Rising Sun Inn in Kensington (South Australia) as part of the annual Raising The Bar Adelaide speakers event.

I am terrified of public speaking and as far as I'm concerned, I'm not a public speaker’s asshole (pardon the French) and probably never will be. I became a member of Speakers Tribe Adelaide and attended meetings over a 12 month period, throwing my hat in (begrudgingly) to speak a number of times, and with each go I lost 3 years off my life from fear.

Needless to say I did not renew my membership.

Event hostess Krystal introduces me to my audience

My chosen title for this talk was "Have You Ever Felt Like You Didn't Have A Voice" and naturally my autobiography Seventy Thousand Camels, A Motivational Survivor’s Memoir served as the titular content. Towards the second half of my talk I introduced OGWADABWAH! A Life Lived on the Spectrum which elicited a lot of interest and compiled the bulk of the Q & A which followed my presentation.

Unfortunately I broke down when twice speaking about my life and, as unprofessional as this seems, it actually elicited a great deal of esteem and empathy from my audience who later met me with hugs, words of gratitude and heartfelt platitudes.

For me public speaking really does nothing personally but it is a necessary tool in order to get an otherwise unknown and their wares out there. I do find however that if I don’t try and stick to a format - as public speaking tutorials try and teach you to do - I can and do get what I need to say out. I definitely ahhh and uhmm and I don’t hold the floor with a commanding posture or non verbal body language, but I can tell a story and especially my story. As my publisher told me after the fact (he too had a speaking gig at this event on the same night but at a different pub), ‘at least you went out there and did it despite your fears. Some people never face their fears. Fear limits growth and you did not allow yourself to be limited.’

I would like to thank Sophie Schultze (Norwood Council) the event co-ordinator for including me this year, my publisher Scott Zarcinas for recommending I sign up to the event, and my hosts on the night Krystal and 'Ticker' for guiding me through a very difficult evening given I was and am experiencing some significant personal issues at the moment. Also a huge thank you to Tibii Disability Services’ George Foumakis and Lisa Burgess who head OGWADABWAH!'s co-author Edan Galbraith's Supported Independent Living services and all of his neverending issues, and, to my husband Adam Brewer for stepping in a few times during the Q & A in order to explain in greater detail items pertaining to disability support and the adult prison system.

Every experience is AN EXPERIENCE.

Om Shanti Om 🕉

When truth is stranger than fiction (or in my case, non-fiction)

If you have read my autobiography published in 2019, Seventy Thousand Camels A Motivational Survivor’s Memoir, then you’ll likely assume my story is about maternal narcissistic abuse and you’d be right about your assumption or shall I say, presumption.

When one puts out a non-fiction account, one is only working with what they knew at the time correct? To alter the narrative of one’s original work means significant editing or, following up on the original with a sequel. I’m not about to re-write my autobiography as a Part Two project nor am I in a financial position to edit or add to the original publication. If God granted me the wish of widespread circulation - maybe then, but insofar as only having sold a few hundred copies you my reader will need to view this blog’s version to understand that Seventy Thousand Camel’s narrative has indeed progressed to something else entirely.

With the few public and radio presentations I’ve given so far I have marketed Seventy Thousand Camels as the sorry story of a child markedly abused by a career mad and neurotic single mother who is most likely afflicted by Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Fast forward to 2024 and the author is beginning to feel her mother like other diagnosed and undiagnosed members of her immediate family, may very well be living on the spectrum and afflicted by Autism Spectrum Disorder. It is a documented fact that ASD may sometimes present as NPD due to the very real difficulty Auties have with understanding and expressing emotions which can be interpreted as a lack of empathy or love towards another.

Then of course there’s the Autism Meltdown which in various Auties can present in unmitigated attacks of rage, self-harm, and direct verbal and/or physical abuse towards another or others. Incidents of potentially dangerous Autistic Meltdown my son Edan unleashes on unsuspecting bystanders can be found in my second book OGWADABWAH! A Life LIved on the Spectrum and is very similar in parts to what I was subjected to living with my mother. My son even self-harmed the way Gloria did, not ever having witnessed his grandmother’s behaviour like I have. Then of course there are the blood curdling screams, horrible profanities, threats, blaming, and ultimately physical (and in my son’s case only, property) violence.

Both Gloria and Edan are afflicted by feelings of self-importance, superiority, and infantile thinking. Their ability to look after themselves or others is limited and often compromised by an arrogant or impulsive attitude. Their view of the world is skewered as is their outrageous sense of justice. Acquired life skills without meaningful support and guidance by professionals or a consistent invested party are just a melee of inadequate choices, personal disasters, and interpersonal disappointments. Many Auties cannot look after a dog let alone parent a child.

I am the daughter of a woman who is Autistic, and the mother of a diagnosed Autie and possibly an undiagnosed one. My children’s father is also very likely Asperger’s Syndrome, and my half-brother Pietro is Intellectually Disabled with a sub diagnosis of Autism.

On the 11th of August 11th 2024 (11 being a master number in Numerology) my brother’s SIL carer took Pietro to Liverpool Hospital in Sydney’s West to see my mother who had been hospitalised a week prior but no-one knew about this my brother’s care providers included. It was I who needed to ring around to find where Gloria had been taken to. With my being estranged from Gloria almost ten years I rely on Pietro’s care providers for updates on how she is travelling, or, on the occasional phone call she pays my husband Adam as I refuse to give Gloria my mobile number for reasons my readers, family, and friends know only too well.

Gloria had been admitted because she was experiencing trouble breathing. Hospital staff later informed me Gloria had pneumonia, an irregular heartbeat and her kidneys were becoming compromised by the large doses of antibiotics needed to dissolve the pneumonia. Pietro’s carer called me from the hospital painting a dire picture of my egg donor;

“I see a little old lady in a hospital bed who is definitely at death’s door. You really should speak to her Adel. I can give her my mobile right now.”

I argued with the carer (as I’d already done previously during) that she sees a little old lady lying in a hospital bed, but I see the sum total of everything my mother put me and others through. Read my book if you want to know more! I yelled at her.

Book Reviews for Seventy Thousand Camels - A Motivational Survivor's Memoir

What a compelling read! This book draws you in with the relatability of the everyday happenings. The style of writing is conducive to keeping you entertained long after everyone else has gone to bed.
What a fabulous insight into so many different facets of a single life lived. Do yourself a favour and have a read.

by Jac F

I just finished your book and WOW, words just escape me....
I couldn’t put it down.
This book is powerful, inspiring and a testament to an incredibly beautiful soul.
You are so brave to have so honestly bared your life, faults and all. This is a real life portrayed not downplaying the mistakes we all make but often pretend didn’t happen.
I hope you continue to keep only the positive people around you and can let go of all the negative influences from the past.
Congratulations on a fabulously gripping, eloquent and well written book
You should be really proud!

by Colleen Macks

WOW what a fabulous book I could not put it down, such a sad journey, you are an inspiration for a lot of woman out there.I highly recommend people to buy this book you will not be disappointed, Angelica I wish you all the best for the future. Thankyou for sharing your journey with me. x

by Jan Parente

I came across the author and this book by coincidence. At the age of 47, two weeks ago and after 40 years of varied traumas minor and major and despite many mental health practitioners and medication , one psychiatrist put names to my behaviours and off I went. As I journeyed through this book , I continually knew the feelings and indeed situations ( wedding day etc) and I cannot describe how I just released so much confusion and feelings of being weird. I also met a wonderful man ten years ago and I just self sabotaged it, and the last three years i have been chronically depressed, anxious and agoraphobic. He is still by my side. I have read a few self help books recently but your story and journey has been so beneficial to me. Please know your story has helped this one person's journey.

by Kylie H

Angelica's book is a heart wrenching raw true story of her traumas in her life from her childhood onto her adult years. She speaks of her highs and lows through her life , her children, her marriages and finally finding true love and happiness with her handsome caring loving husband Adam. A story which is hard to discuss to the whole world. Well done Angelina.
Thank you for being my friend

by Diana Roberts

Most incredible story. Emotionally raw and touches you on a personal note. For one woman to experience so much hardship and come out a survivor is not only a miracle but an inspiration. Couldn't put this book down, I laughed, I cried but bottom line is I enjoyed every line of it.

by Sharon Schofield

“You’ll have to read the book!” was Adel’s answer to my question of what ‘Seventy Thousand Camels’ signified— and when the book appeared in due course, I felt how apt the title was, both for the candid way it told of events in Adel’s life’s story [which often made her doubt her personal ‘worth’] and for the courage she has had to write of these things.
The book is an interesting warts and all account and makes a sad-read, with its first-hand descriptions of various mistreatments by family-members, and people in positions of trust, all with such resultant, long-lasting consequences.
But I felt Adel’s honesty as well, which throughout the book extends to self-chastening, and admitting and asking for our understanding instead of judgment, despite her many set-backs along the way.
And because the writer’s own early experiences of alienation and abuse result in empathy for those who have been, or are being similarly mistreated, Adel acted with acceptance, humor, compassion and love, and in the best interests of those whom she met and professionally cared for, in her recent work as an Officer within the Prison system, knowing that this is what will help bring about any rehabilitation.
I pray that she will know a complete and healing closure to her personal situation— to be able to forgive the past and to leave any judgment to a Higher Power and thus be able to move on in the strength of the new and capable person whom she has become.

by Susanne Shearer

An excellent book, so gripping. Amazing how the author came out the other side at the end. It's good to read a book so similar to your self/life. Loved it. Best autobiography I've ever read.

by Gemma Morrissey

Angelica's "Seventy Thousand Camels" is her first book. It is a long story telling of her troublesome life.
The many wrongs of this harsh life, that of her work life and personal life. The way life has treated her, the search for her true self and finding the love of her life.
She is a loving deep friend of mine whom has helped me out in my own life to find myself. I am comforted knowing more about myself through reading her story and getting to know her more.
I do hope that you find her and her story a sense of comfort too.

by Dwaine Nethery

Adel I have read your book "Seventy Thousand and Camels" and found the read impressive about your personal story, courage against the odds and the quality of writing. l couldn't put the book down; terrific read.

by Margaret Williams

I found Seventy Thousand Camels to be a thought provoking & insightful read. It was impactful, raw & taught me about resilience & perseverance. A book about hard truths & survival.

by Tanya K

I love Seventy Thousand Camels. It is a book, that once I get a chance to pick it up, it is hard to put down. Work and family are the only things stopping me from reading it in one sitting.
You have had a tough life, but have come through with flying colours. You now have the love of your soulmate. I am unsure if I want to call you inspirational, as I know you would admit, you had made some mistakes. Your pursuit of love, as described in your book, lead to you almost killing someone! You were not being loved by those who were supposed to love you and those that said they did.
You have wonderful 'kids', husband and friends (fur babies incl.), who have helped you up to where you should be. We all want to be loved and to be able to give love.
As I said, 'inspiration' is not the word, but 'admiration' is.
You and Adam are doing a great job with Edan and his struggles. I applaud you for that.

by Michael Branson

I met Angelica randomly, online a few years ago. We had a mutual friend. Her comments intrigued me. She was by far the smartest person I'd met and I'm a qualified school teacher. From that chance encounter we became firm long distance friends. I must admit that at first, I only persevered with the book to find out the meaning behind the title. Once into it however, I was hooked. Friends would say, "How's that girl's book?" I described it as a 'soapy for the thinking person'. It is of course much deeper than that. Angelica was a scared, little girl, searching for love and acceptance. I was never one for 'flowery writing and Angelica tells it like it is, warts and all, so she had me on board straight away. Hopefully the process of confronting her childhood demons was cathartic for Angelica, and as a mature adult, she has finally realised her true 'authentic self. With the help of her 'Earth Angel', she should now be confident that she's worth way more than "Seventy Thousand Camels"! To those of us who love and respect her - she's priceless!

by Amanda Ferguson

This book is certainly a story of an incredible journey by a woman who overcame so many challenges in her life which gave her the strength to reach the point of where her life is today. It was inspiring and reminds us that we can overcome situations if we have the determination too.
I enjoyed reading it and glad that she has found peace in her life.

by Sue White

I came to this review not just as a reader of another book, but as someone who has come to know the author through our interactions at a writers group. Writing reveals a lot about people, perhaps too much, and it is perhaps too revealing of oneself. Fatalism seems to be a major factor in this book. Angelica gives the impression things are unchangeable but I think your choices in life determine who you become, and setting a pre-ordained course is surely restrictive and fatalistic. I found the book depressing in content but it's therapeutic value to the author is inestimable. I found the swear words and hard language difficult to understand and wondered whether it is an Italian thing, a Corrections thing, or merely used to keep the reader upon his or her toes, or perhaps a sign of frustration. Better explanation of your metaphysical position would help the reader. The autobiography is a no holds barred expose of Angelica's life and what made her who she is.

by Marcus R

I must admit this book was heavy reading at times. Angelica has given an honest and raw account of her life so far. Hard to imagine a young girl being so mistreated by her own family members, setting her up for almost certain failure in her adult life. I was pleased that the author seems to have mostly overcome the demons of her past and appears to be in a happy and loving place with her own children and husband Adam. Perhaps, love does conquer all?

by Kathryn S

As an unwanted child this is a brutally honest assessment of a woman`s search for her true identity and true love. The complicated twists and turns in her life, as she searches, is told in a forthright manner which tends to leave the reader feeling slightly distressed, only to be uplifted by the positive ending.

by Marian Potter

Reading this book was not my normal choice of a book which I hate to say, I almost threw out into the bin. However, as I persisted to read on, it opened my eyes, realizing this was a true story of someone's life. Angelica's life! At times I identified with Angelica's struggles - some being similar to what I have experienced in my own life. In a world of great need, we are all searching for faith, hope, and love to face the challenges of discovering who we are and why we are here, Thank you for your honesty Angelica. May your journey of discovery continue.

by Carol Reich

I thoroughly enjoyed this book. For the author to bare all was really brave and even up to the end she was still honest about working day to day to help herself. The book had a great flow and it was hard to put down. I wish her all the best on her journey.

by Lesa

This is the story of a life lived with its achievements and hardships, sweetness and bitterness. Told by the survivor, the story unfolds in a fascinating way to reach out to readers, and makes for an interesting book.

by Ruth Friend

A great autobiography that’s very raw, I cried and laughed have recommended to all my reading friends.

by Lucy Fry

Did you have some support with editing? If not you were born as a very talented writer. Even with some support you did a great job. The way you describe yourself and your life is fascinating and also shows why you live your life as you do.
Your problem might be that your resolutions aren't always logical and sometimes overdue as well but do not last very long. I guess that might be a reason why your life will remain "rich in variety". That is my personal opinion only. It is not my intention to offend or insult you.

by Jens Lindemann

This Memoir is soul revealing and shows the tenacity required to overcome what appear to
be overwhelming life obstacles, Certainly insightful. Different comments and observations made by the Author over a few years association have been very firmly put into context." (and I can only hope for the discovery of the true everlasting peace for you).

by Fiona Wortley

Facing personal challenges throughout life Angelica's book is a story of strength, resilience, and finding her way. A great read.

by Tania Paul - Library Manager

A very emotionally charged and compelling autobiography. No truer an example of "the light at the end of the tunnel" even if that tunnel was so long. I believe this book is an inspiration to anyone who has gone through any kind of trauma that if you can remain resilient, good things will come to you eventually.

by Kris G

Just finished it yesterday a very detailed read about your life’s journey from birth for your first 50 odd years . Highs and lows so many familiar moments for me having been at primary school when we met . You survived where others would have fell , you raised above and begun a new happy life for the next 50 years . Just promise me you will live for the future not dwell on the past as Adam sounds like a wonderful man that deserves happiness nothing less.

by Leanne Martz

What a gripping read exciting and so interesting from start to finish, I couldn't put it down what a great read what a lady, wow.

by Jan B

What a strong story by a strong woman! Thanks for sharing your life and give thoughtful insights of what can happen in peoples lives. You have no idea! Well worth reading.

by Lotta T ( Sweden)

BRILLIANT. HONEST. DISTURBING. TRIUMPHANT.
Irresistibly well written, this book leads the reader through a kaleidoscope of a rich and spirited life. Written without a trace of indulgence in self pity, Seventy Thousand Camels allows the reader to share in the many steps, stumbles, and leaps taken as the author journeys to wholeness. From the top of the mountain to the darkest depths of a valley, nothing is held back. You the reader, will maybe cry, laugh, or even gasp. It could be said many of the horrors should not have happenedto this sweet child - then adult, yet, as I finished reading the book, it was clear that this path taken has resulted in a resilient, compassionate, and precious person. Bon Courage A.A. Brewer!

by Yvonn Wilson

Seventy Thousand Camels is a very detailed, confronting and moving account of Angelica’s life.

She has been very brave baring all for the reader so that we really get to know her intimately. Many parts of her life have been very intense and traumatic but she continually tries to escape from these events which is a testament to her resilience and desire to be a better person.

Angelica’s command of the English language and her references to historical events and literature show she is an intelligent lady.

It is a book that you don’t want to put down, not only to find out the reference to the title but also because you want to find out how she survives and overcomes all the obstacles and abuse.

It is not just a self help or motivational story but an honest account of one persons journey brought up in two different cultures and dealing with mistreatment and neglect.

by Mary Hill - Sydney

We have much to learn from Angelica Brewer’s life story. An imprisoned soul finds freedom. Love sustains. Care redeems. It’s a big story and a big comfort. We learn about survival and spirit in a compelling book.

by Peter Goers OAM, The Evening Show ABC Radio Adelaide

Seventy Thousand Camels was a heartwarming and very heartfelt story. A recommended read. I couldn’t put it down.

by Amanda S

A compelling life story spanning two continents and intergenerational cultural and societal dynamics featuring a diverse cast of characters from narcissists through to real life heros. Angelica’s life is a resilient journey through depression, spirituality, friendship, and kindness, viewed through a lens of mental health and imbedded family trauma. Seventy Thousand Camels sees a survivor emerging from the other end of the voyage and pondering, is there more to it than this?

by Frederick Harris

Seventy Thousand Camels is a fascinating account of a life that was greatly affected by trauma from a young age. This book gives us a valuable observer view of how growing up with a narcissistic parent can skewer thought processes and hinder self-worth, as well as cause a lack of self-love that continues throughout childhood and into adulthood. It is a courageous story shared with lots of valuable life lessons gained through following the tumultuous journey of the author’s life.

by KM Chapman author of Adventure Vixen and International Vixen

The book Seventy Thousand Camels is a heartfelt and real read. The author is my dear childhood friend I now understand on a much deep level. I would highly recommend this book to everyone.

by Tricia Dawn Kennedy-Gilbert

This book has taught me so much about being strong and that we matter and can have it all, so thank you! You’re an amazing woman Angelica.

by Lisa - Barossa Valley SA

An outstanding story that moves through different stages of a timeline. Throughout that story I experienced what the main character experienced and I felt what she felt at every stage of her life. I love it when a book can emotionally reach me like that.

by Antonio Pagnani

Where to start with this extraordinary story so well written and true!

How do I know it’s true you may ask? Because I am the husband of Angelica, the honoree of the book.

I have seen the situations, experienced the many highs and lows, met the characters and lived the life alongside her for the last 14 years now, just celebrating our tenth wedding anniversary.

Although I may not have known Angelica before 2008, I feel after reading this book I know her even better than I thought previously, some good, some bad.

The way this book has been written (and lived) draws you into Angelica’s world page by page making it almost impossible to put down. You can imagine being in Rome, Adelaide or Sydney right beside her!

Travel around Australia and the world and found out the reason for Seventy Thousand Camels existing.

A great read indeed.

by Adam Brewer

I read this book in one sitting! I couldn’t put it down.

 by Robyn Scolyer - Tasmania

Wow! Just wow! 

There are life experiences, then there are the life experiences Adel shared with us in this amazing world she experienced from a very young age.

From start to finish, I cried, laughed, felt a connection with her emotions and wanted to come to her aid against the string of narcissistic "people" in her life. 

A true warrior who confronted life as it came at her at light speed, sometimes created by her, sometimes life lessons provided by the universe, it's testament to the amazing woman, healer Adel is, to have experienced what she has and be a shining example of love & light.

Thank you for sharing your story, it makes me feel I too can confront life here and now, live in the moment, not take it too seriously and be grateful for the life I have.

by Michael M - Tasmania

The story compellingly contrasts human depravity with the power of unconditional love and forgiveness. The author, a masterful storyteller, creates a tapestry of drama, intrigue, and shock, guiding readers through a personal journey that delves into the depths of fear, belief, and volatile emotions leading to self-destruction. In the depths of despair, a sense of disillusionment and loss pervades. Yet, amidst the harrowing spiritual battles, a flicker of hope remains, compelling readers to turn the pages in anticipation of the conclusion. At times, the book necessitated a pause to reflect on the evoked emotions of sadness and revulsion towards evil. Ultimately, the narrative is restorative, portraying the indomitable human spirit and resilience bestowed by an omniscient Creator.

by Jacqueline - NSW

Book Reviews for OGWADABWAH! A Life Lived on the Spectrum

Wow! I just finished Owgadabwah! In three nights. I've been happy but also shed a few tears. Well written and researched. People that have added their insights where interesting and supportive of Edan's journey. Edan has had his ups and downs but he knows his authentic self. He knows what he likes and dislikes. He has my support. I'm glad I know him and hope that there is more help with his situation. Blessed be and love.

by Dwaine Nethery

Having known Edan as a cute, loving young child it was hard to read about his and Angelica’s struggles in his later life. The book shows the emotions and struggles that not only a child, but parents go through, with a child diagnosed with various disabilities. Both Edan and Angelica have had the courage to share their journey with us, inspiring us to see beyond the disability and labels to acknowledge his abilities. It also makes us realise what a tiring, frustrating journey it has been for both Edan and Angelica. Congratulations Edan and Angelica on a wonderful collaborative account of a life lived on the spectrum!

by Mary Hill

This book takes an in-depth look into not only the lived experience of Edan and the complex challenges he has faced throughout life but at those closest to him also. I wasn't able to put the book down as it goes into Edan's older years and the intense behaviours and emotions the family have been through. A must read for those with loved ones on the spectrum!

by Steph Wheeldon - Correctional Services

Piernatale Gemmellaro

In 1976 when I was ten years old and a fresh immigrant from Italy to Adelaide South Australia, my half brother Piernatale was born.

That is us pictured together in 1983 for my eighteenth birthday at my mother’s and stepfather’s housing commission home in Bonnyrigg New South Wales where we moved to in 1978.

My brother was born with an intellectual disability. The reason for it can be attributed to a number of things which are detailed in my autobiography Seventy Thousand Camels. What I want to convey in this post has nothing to do with the why’s and how’s of Pietro’s (as I prefer to call him nowadays) disability and or about how he is today. This post is about my relationship with him then and now. Trigger alert for anyone not wanting to experience some painful and ugly context.

Maternal narcissistic abuse, the common thread running throughout my autobiography, can lead the suffering progeny into committing some unspeakable acts against themselves and others. Emotional development is stunted as the victim attempts everything it thinks is correct for them in order to survive. In my case some of this skewered survival included tormenting my disabled half brother.

Pietro was as innocent as I in the Gemmellaro household. But as they say generational trauma affects every member of the family and shit runs downhill in a stormy landslide. In a tiered family dynamic the youngest victim within this landslide was Pietro.

My mother’s first and only love in life was opera. She devoted every ounce of herself to her craft and if she needed Pietro and his intrusive disability out of her way he was sent and locked into my bedroom. I of course tried proving myself in school through my assignments and homework and therefore spent every ounce of my energy attempting to produce 20 out of 20 work my teachers would be proud of.

Imagine then trying to concentrate while your disturbed half brother would bang his foot against your door incessantly whilst making weird and high pitched noises. My nerves were already raw from my mother’s acrimonious screams or her never ending operatic scales and aria practices.

I still hate too much noise around me today.

Eventually I’d have enough and torture my brother as he and my mother tortured me. I’d grab a shoe horn or my rubber thong and have him put his palm out and smash either or both as hard as I could across it. Sometimes I’d pinch him, other times I’d kick him. Fuck knows what other things I did to that poor soul. I know when I was about fourteen I pushed Pietro into the corner of a steel bed frame head first and he had a cut on his forehead that took forever to heal, and another time I deliberately forced his hand on a hotplate and burnt it. That scar never did heal and I had become his ghoul just as my mother was mine.

I hated my family, including Pietro.

Fast forward to around 2015 when I finally decided to drop the thoughtful daughter facade with my narcissist mother who was only getting more selfish with time, and began going low contact following a twelve page letter full of accusations against her. This and the fact I’d moved from Sydney to Adelaide in 2008 meant I wasn’t seeing her, my stepfather, or Pietro.

The last time I saw Pietro in fact was at my youngest cousin’s wedding some time in 2014 where the photo below was taken of Pietro and I.

Silver Sands early 2014

By 2022 I had not seen or spoken to Pietro in eight long years, only ever sending him cards with gift cards for his birthday and sometimes at Christmas time via my mother’s address in Mt Pritchard New South Wales. Then out of the blue a Sydney based NDIS co-ordinator called me to inform me Pietro had been removed from my mother due to neglect and welfare concerns and placed in a group home in Prestons NSW.

It is then that I finally got to hear Pietro’s voice in almost nine years when I called the house. His supported living carers had no idea Pietro even had a sister.

Pietro remembered me and immediately started his tried and true litany of random anecdotes.

“Cicci lives in Adelaide? Bimbo come see Cicci? Don’t swear at Gloria. Kristen in England? Don’t say bad words at the anonati. Don’t go in Ray’s room.”

For years I felt like shit about what I put my brother through as a wayward, lost, angry kid/teen. I thought I might have washed out some of that mea culpa guilt through self deprecation about Pietro’s mistreatment in Seventy Thousand Camels, but I hadn’t even touched the sides.

Pietro in care

There was only one thing to do. Go and visit him in Sydney. And so, I plan to this October 2023; the first time I see my poor brother in nine long lost years.

Look how much he’s aged. And during our last telephone conversation he tried telling me he is really sick with diabetes. His father died aged sixty three from diabetes.

I’m so sorry Pietro. I know life punished me with the birth of my own disabled son, and I deserve as much. Hopefully by caring for my child as no one cared about you, I’ve atoned somewhat for the ill I caused you.

See you soon 💔

Neuro Linguistic Programming

I just turned fifty eight years old.

In the picture below I was twenty years old… boy was I walking disaster then so don’t let the demure “Princess Di” look fool you.

Me circa 1985

When you’ve finally finished my epic autobiography you’ll realise what a train wreck the pretty girl in the photo was.

That train wreck went on to become a Titanic sinking, and then an earthquake. Then, in 2014 she had had enough and decided to put an end to the madness by accepting medication and therapy.

Things got better and better, but what was removed from the billowing tree of pain, remained in the roots. There was still self loathing, doubt, and guilt living in this greatly modified but still grieving child/woman. What to do?

Enter a Ukranian lady named Oksana Samkova and Neuro Linguistic Programming. It doesn’t matter how I met Oksana as I do not believe in coincidences or incidental chain of events. When the Universe has your back - and it has - the end result is all which matters.

NLP is a re-wiring of the brain utilising several modalities including hypnosis. I cannot tell you how it has changed my life just in 11 sessions (only one more to go) but it has and I am grateful.

If you want to know more or wish to be linked in with Oksana, leave me a note in the CONTACT ANGELICA section of this website.

Om Shanti Om 🕉

Gloria Trillo, my mother.

Don’t be fooled by the smiles or apparent display of “affection”. Circa 1983, Adel and Gloria.

Gloria and I in Rome circa 1968

Gloria trying to cut my brother’s hair at their Department of Housing home in Bonnyrigg, NSW, Australia circa 1980.

Gloria aged fifteen, Madrid Spain circa 1950.

Gloria Trillo was born in 1935 on the 14th of March in Tetouan Morocco.

Gloria was one of four children with her paternity a rather questionable one given her natural blonde hair, fair skin, and green eyes. Her Spaniard mother Lucia had sought refuge in Morocco from Franco authorities which is why Gloria was born here. Very little is known about her father Edelmiro Trillo (not to be confused with Gloria’s brother who was named after him) who abandoned the family when Gloria was around the age of six after Lucia uncovered his various infidelities.

From the age of fifteen Gloria’s mother Lucia started grooming her for operatic stardom. I often heard Lucia mention that she wanted to be a singer but her pseudo aristocratic family forbid her to embark on said career. Sadly, it appears that to some extent, Gloria suffered the all too familiar telltale effects of stage mother management. Gloria once told me all she really wanted to do as a little girl was get married and be a housewife. As life went on, I am certain Gloria blamed Lucia for all of her failures including the ones she herself was directly responsible for.

Gloria studied vocal opera at the Madrid Royal Conservatory until she turned twenty one years of age when her and Lucia relocated to Rome Italy to further her studies at the Santa Cecilia Conservatory of Music where one of her teachers was the coloratura soprano Elvira de Hidalgo who’s most famous pupil was none other than the legendary soprano Maria Callas.

My mother had a spectacular soprano’s voice and did moderately well in the opera world. The only YouTube recording found of her 1969 performance of La Buona Figliuola by Piccini which took place at the Teatro San Carlo in Naples can still be viewed (see above for an excerpt taken of my mother on her own as the Marchesa Lucinda).

How or why my mother ended up singing for her supper in a Trastevere theatre restaurant instead of becoming a true Primadonna of the Opera, I do not know. Just as there are other unexplained or unearthed gaps in my family history (i.e. my biological father’s entire story), the decline of Gloria’s career is also a mystery.

In 1974 Gloria began a relationship with a Trastevere colleaugue, the untrained Sicilian tenor Alfio Gemmellaro who was also my mother’s junior by seven years. Late that year Gloria announced we were all relocating to Australia. Her younger brother Edelmiro had already done so three years earlier attesting that the relatively new culture of this nation would surely welcome an artist of Gloria’s calibre with open arms. Edelmiro could not have been more wrong.

Not only did Australia reject the now forty year old singer, Gloria went on to spend the rest of her life on welfare and in public housing.

The remainder og gloria’s story and her disgraceful behaviours towards myself, my stepfather, and even my disabled half brother, are well documented in my autobiography in which I credit Gloria as Gilda.

Second Edition of Seventy Thousand Camels by Dr Zed Publishing Adelaide South Australia

I was informed by Troubadour UK that my contract with them was up early this year. Of course I could renew it by paying more money. No I did not wish to do so especially given they still has 294 print copies in their Leicestershire warehouse which they stated would be pulped unless I could “move them” elsewhere? Naturally I didn’t want my life story and years of hard thankless work pulped and paid an additional 2.5K to have the books shipped to Australia. They are currently sitting in my garage where I will hopefully sell them around the state by consignment, and hopefully through “author talks” I need to arrange in libraries and other forums I’ve yet to research.

I began the tireless search for another publisher here in Australia, a traditional one this time as I didn’t have another $16.000 lying around to re-launch the book myself. Dr Zed publishing https://www.scottzarcinas.com answered the call of the proverbial desperate writer by accepting to meet me face to face and a few months later offered to re-release SEVENTY THOUSAND CAMELS - a motivational survivor’s memoir - as a second edition with a new ISBN and Publisher’s Logo. Can you imagine my excitement when I received the email below, and had my image featured on Dr Zed’s website under their Our Authors list?

FINALLY!!!

Good news! The updated ePub has successfully been distributed to Apple and all the other ebook retailers (see attached confirmation).

Also attached is the updated ePub for your records.

Your print book and ebook has now been distributed online to all online book and ebook retailers, so please let me know if you require anything further regarding this.